Ask ReproJobs: How should I deal with a man who's trash, but who's also my boss?

Dear ReproJobs,

My boss is the only male in the office and also happens to be extremely underqualified for his position. He constantly tells me how to do my job incorrectly. He also treats me as a personal assistant assigning tasks far outside my role and for which I am overqualified for (ex. fetching coffee for him when I should be leading a coalition meeting). I am the youngest and newest person in my office, and while my co-workers also experience this, no one is willing to approach him. What should I do?

 - Pissed with Patriarchy

Dear Pissed with Patriarchy,

This is such a disappointing situation and unfortunately a super common confluence of issues: an incompetent, inappropriate boss that people are afraid to approach. It sounds like it may be worth untangling what’s going on.

  1. He might be underqualified for the position: Unfortunately, it doesn’t sound like there’s much you can do about that. He’s there and you have to deal with him in order to do your job. If your organization engages in any type of yearly review or evaluation process for managers, perhaps that is a place where you can provide the evidence that leads you to believe he’s underqualified for the position. Keep notes ways that his inability to complete his job makes yours difficult and you can manage up, bring the issue up with his supervisor when the time comes, or cite it during your evaluations.

  2. He asks you to do inappropriate tasks: Here’s where documentation might come in handy. Every time your boss asks you to do something that’s outside the scope of your position, write it down, including the date, time, the asks, and what other work you could’ve been doing at the time. If you have one on one meetings with him, use your documentation to start a conversation with him. You might say something like: “I’ve noticed for the last two weeks, you’ve asked me to get coffee X times. I’m happy to be a team player and do this from time to time, but the frequency with which these requests come is in eating into my capacity to do my job. These requests are really better handled by X. I’m requesting your help as my boss in protecting my time so that I can accomplish all of my goals.” Or whatever version of that makes it clear that: a) you want to focus on your job and be a team player, and his actions are cutting into that, b) you’re asking him to do his job as a boss and set you up for success instead of admonishing him. This gives him a chance to change his behavior instead of shaming him. If that doesn’t sound quite right, here are more suggestions for how you might frame this conversation.

  3. Others are nervous about approaching him: It sounds like you’ve already had conversations with your co-workers about his behavior. Can you ask your coworkers to start keeping documentation of these incidents too? Third party validators and their evidence can be helpful when documenting situations. If you feel comfortable having a conversation with your boss and his behavior still doesn’t change, it might be worth involving a third party, whether that’s Human Resources, the Executive Director, or the organization’s Board. Your case would be made much stronger by having multiple people share their experiences with him, especially if you are a newer employee. At the end of the day, it sounds like he is preventing you from doing your job, and leadership should know that and work to change it.

Dealing with incompetent people in power in the workplace is excruciatingly difficult. We hope this helps a little and you’re able to create change in your workplace.

Love,

ReproJobs 

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